God is light. (1 John 1:5) God is life. (John
14:16) God is love. (1 John 4:8)
I admit it.
I have been in denial and have been feeling very disappointed. It was my sincerest wish that the last chemo,
Erubulin, was the key to the end of
the cancer. However, in early May, I had
another tumor removed and started back on chemo in June. With two rounds complete they have informed
me this week that I will need four more rounds and then they are sending me for more surgery.
That will be surgery number 8. It is a
hard row to hoe and the only thing sustaining me is that this is part of God’s
plan. His love is limitless and He hears
my prayers.
There is no end to God’s love and if we
choose we can choose to have life beyond what we have experienced here on earth. God has won the war. It is over.
Christ came to earth and died for all of humanity so that we may
live. (John 3:16) There is nothing that
we can do save ourselves but choose to be a child of God. We are saved by God’s grace. (Ephesians 2: 8-9)
I had a favorite song when I was about 14
years old called, “Pass it On”. And the lyrics go something like …
‘It only takes a spark to get the fire
going. And then those all around can warm up to its glowing. That’s how it is with God’s love. Once you experience it, you spread his love
to every one, you want to pass it on …”
God’s love is limitless and extends to
everyone. So pass it on!
I confess that every time I open up the Bible
to read, it speaks to me! While
wallowing in my disappointment in early June, I opened up my Bible and I
stumbled upon Psalms 69 where David is feeling desperate and is pleading with
God …
“I sink in deep mire,
Where there is no standing;
I come into deep waters,
Where the floods overflow me.
I am weary with my crying;
My throat is dry;
My eyes fail while I wait for my God. ….
Let not those who seek You be
Confounded because of me, O God of
Israel. ….
Hear me, Oh Lord, for Your lovingkindness
is good;
Turn to me according to the multitude of
Your tender mercies.
And do not hide your face from your
servant,
For I am in trouble;
Hear me speedily.
Draw near my soul and redeem it ….”
And then Psalms 70 where David says, “Make
haste, O God, to deliver me! Make haste to help me, Oh Lord.” Yes, this described what I have been feeling
so I found great comfort in David’s words and did not hesitate to make these
statements part of my prayers.
Oh, I wish from the bottom of my heart, to
just be done with cancer! And done with treatments! Please, “Make haste, O God,
to deliver me!”
It is OK to plead with God. Or it is also
fine to simply say ‘God thank you for hearing my prayers.’ God hears our
prayers. The important thing is to let God know that we humbly are requesting
his intervention.
When I do not get the answer I want in the timing that I want, I
quote Job, …..
“Though He slay me, I will trust in Him.”
Job 15:13
By trusting God there is nothing to lose. People ask me ‘How can you be so happy and
look so full of life?’. Frankly, I trust
God and realize that I would not be alive today except that He has been taking
care of me. By the grace of God, I actually look amazing and will get through
this as well.
God is in charge. He has limitless love and
is in control. I will live my life on
his terms.
May God bless you and may you experience and
share His limitless love.
I
would like to dedicate this blog entry to my Aunty Edna. She truly lived a life
that exemplified that God’s love is limitless. Thank you.
