Really?!?

What a day!! Ugh!  I met with a radiation oncologist who told me that it was time I started learning how to "live with cancer".  I was following the instructions from my oncologist to meet with her to find out if I was a suitable candidate for radiation.   So all I was there to learn was that if she thought radiation was a good idea or not. She proceeded to dump on me what her prognosis of what my situation was ... it was basically time to through in the towel ... game over ... 6 months worst case scenario or in the best case scenario she had seen patients live 10 to 12 years. The cancer metastasized and had to be somewhere else. It was just a matter of time.  I really did not appreciate being told that I needed to see a psychologist to 'learn how to die'.

All I could think was '6 months' who is she kidding? She proceeded to tell me that it was time to stop my treatment plan ... So no radiation, no more surgery, perhaps there were drugs that I would continue taking ..... Her 'you need to learn to live with cancer' theory is unacceptable to me. I kept on thinking what does my own oncologist have to say about this! I was a messy puddle of tears by the time she was done with her graphic explanation of what my short future held.

Perhaps one good thing came out of this.  She is sending me for a PET scan. So my CT scan for tomorrow is cancelled and I am being booked for a PET scan in late June 2013.  I feel that the results will surprise the socks of this doctor!

Tonight I am feeling jittery and yet praying for a clean PET scan and praising God for life .... I trust that no matter what, God is in control.  I just wish that it was not such a roller coaster ride.

1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all your cares upon Him, for He careth for you."

Friday, June 14, 2013 Update:

Meeting with my medical oncologist on Monday, June 17, 2013.

PET scan is booked for June 24, 2013.
If the PET scan is clean, surgery will happen on July 4, 2013. (Independence Day from cancer for ME!)

I have decided that I just need to forget what the radiation oncologist said to me.  Her words just bring panic, fear and more negative thoughts which are just the opposite of what God wants for anyone.

I am still trusting in God and have total faith that He is in control.  When I walk away from this free of cancer, it will be an act of God! Praise the Lord! God is good!